


Therapy

by Donya



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Brutal Honesty, Fluff, Humour, M/M, Therapy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-05
Updated: 2016-08-05
Packaged: 2018-07-29 12:17:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 764
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7684225
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Donya/pseuds/Donya
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Another post-Civil War therapy session with Dr Loki.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Therapy

The fourth therapy session with a deeply suffering Tony started as usual. Tony lay on the couch, having made sure there was a box of tissues and a bottle of whisky within his reach. Loki, dressed in an ostentatiously patterned suit matched with a pretentious-looking tie, took a seat on the nearest armchair, holding a notebook and a black pen.

'Good morning, Tony,' Loki began in a soothing yet firm tone. 'How are you feeling today?'

Tony rolled his eyes. 'We've had sex ten minutes ago, no need to say good morning.'

'You wanted me to be professional. Why don't you say how much you love my suit? I saw it all on tv, a good psychiatrist is known for a peculiar sense of style, displays impeccable manners and plays with patients' feelings.'

'I don't think you should watch that show, Lokes.'

'What is bothering you today? Shall we return to one of our previous conversations? _Why doesn't Rogers understand he's the bad guy? When will he apologise to you properly? Should you feel guilty about what happened to Rhodes?_ Or maybe _why is Romanoff such a disloyal, lying bitch?_ '

Tony eyed the bottle longingly, but it was still a bit too early. 'Maybe the last one. I have no idea why I trusted her. She must be so exhausted, carrying all those knives to stab friends in the back. You can clearly tell where she's from. The only consolation is that she'll soon turn against Steve, again.'

'How would that make you feel?'

'Good. You know? Fucking good. Maybe I should do what Zemo tried and alienate Steve from Natasha.'

'We could make popcorn and watch them fight each other,' Loki suggested enthusiastically. Apart from watching dark tv shows, that was his main hobby.

'How does she even keep track on whose side she's at the moment?'

'Maybe she has some helpful app,' Loki said, proud of himself. He was much better at handling Midgardian technology than Thor.

Tony picked up a cushion and squeezed it hard. 'Maybe we should change the subject.'

'Oh no. Not _that one American teenager killed in Sokovia_ ,' Loki groaned. 'Again?'

'Why do I feel that you're bored with me? Listen, that guy went to Sokovia to build houses for the poor!'

Loki took a deep, very deep breath, feeling he couldn't impersonate a mild-mannered psychiatrist anymore. At that point, the only reasonable thing to do was to shake Tony by the shoulders.

'Stark, for the love of the Midgardian God, would you fucking stop with that Good Samaritan? First of all, that's what usually happens to such people. No good deed will go unpunished. Secondly, why, why would you care about one person who willingly went to a dangerous place? You didn't send him there, did you? Your weapons didn't kill him. Besides, Midgard is already overcrowded.'

'That's no-'

'Shut up. I'm talking. Stop beating yourself up over nothing. I know you love it but trust me, you're not a villain, you're just dating one. Even if we think of Ultron and the lives he took, that's nothing compared to, say, all the victims of your country's liberal gun laws. What's the point of saving those people from the extraterrestrial evil, if they do not seem to know how to protect toddlers from shooting their parents to death? Tony, get over that one random man, you were not to blame.'

Tony opened his mouth a couple of times, trying to argue with Loki but he didn't know what to say. Perhaps the time came for Tony to stop feeling guilty about everything.

Loki took a look at his fancy wristwatch. 'You still have half an hour. Shall we talk about your father? That's a never-ending story. Last time you mentioned the picture of a flame-throwing airplane that Howard did not approve of. Any other pictures he didn't like?'

'Yes. I drew a blue watermelon and he wondered if I'm colour-blind.'

'You're not.'

'I know. Unless he was right and I'm just stupid, I don't know,' Tony mumbled pitifully and reached for a tissue. 

'I really don't want to do this but you're forcing me, Stark,' Loki sounded cross as he left the room for a moment. He came back soon, carrying a living anti-depressant - their sleepy kitten that he placed on Tony's chest. 'You know I hate to interrupt Claw's nap.'

Tony smiled as he stroked the kitten's back, enjoying the fluffiness of its fur and the purring that was louder than expected of such a tiny creature. When other types of therapy fail, there's always felinotherapy. 


End file.
